Welcome To My Life

Information

2011-05-24T07:39:00.002-04:00

Is knowledge really beneficial? Is it better to know about the truth, or is it better to live in a sugarcoated, ignorant yet innocent bubble? Had I been asked these questions two months ago, I would have answered strongly in the affirmative. Now, I'm not so sure anymore.

In a recent outbreak and publicization of yet another nasty scandel, seven time tour de france winner, cancer survivor, and national hero Lance Armstrong is being accused - in the face of solid evidence - of doping (). I am really starting to lose faith in the world.

formspring.me

2010-05-26T22:08:00.001-04:00

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/jjyang2010

formspring.me

2010-05-19T23:38:00.001-04:00

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/jjyang2010

formspring.me

2010-05-18T19:34:00.001-04:00

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/jjyang2010

formspring.me

2010-05-13T22:44:00.001-04:00

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/jjyang2010

Tomorrow I am John Locke

2009-12-15T00:09:00.002-05:00

Tomorrow I am John Locke. I will go to school with white collar shirt and black cloak and discuss the validity of empiricism, the proper role of the government, and why there should be religious toleration.

A freshman who had been at my middle school asked me how many "projects" not including essays I have for school, and I was about to say "none!" when I realized... my my old standards nearly every day we have projects due. The above mentioned historical personality project, the English scene presenting project, the English world literature research project, the biology (do labs count?) writeup, the math additional assessment (do some multi variable calculus problems that take up half a page with my small handwriting count?).

Hmm... and now it is 12:14 and I wish so much that I could go to bed right now... oh how perfect it would be. But instead I must study for a math quiz...2 hrs... maybe 3... : (

A bunch of seniors got into good colleges like Stanford and UPenn and Georgetown and someone probably Yale... hope?

So I never really grew up...

2009-10-20T01:02:00.003-04:00

I still remember how on the school day of Halloween in freshman year, our Ap Us Government teacher gave a half joking lecture regarding how we were too old to go trick or treating. It gave me this sad feeling inside, however I noticed that several other people in the room were showing visible signs of that feeling that we all know too well. For me it's almost like a sinking feeling of something bad about to happen, mixed with sadness and a desire to turn back time. And then there's the desire to fix this problem by talking yourself, or receiving some sort of verification that whatever has caused this unhappiness is invalid; logically unsound and/or based on untrue premise. A girl in our class,5'6 perhaps, approached the teacher and said something along the lines of "but we're not really too old to go trick or treating right?" The teacher laughed and she was reassured.

Countless people have told me that I look much younger than I actually am, with estimates of around 11-13. I feel like I never got past 12. The downside is that I am frequently not taken very seriously by peers or adults who do not know me. The upside is everything else :D

Throughout the past 2 and now third year at my high school, I have noticed that the kids in our magnet program seem to be 'younger' than normal also. A correlation due to intense pressure and time spent studying, which was taken from the time that was supposed to be for turning 'mature'(oh how ironic since teens usually are not). An excellent example is that the National Honors Society, composed of upperclassmen with 3.5+uw gpas and many extracurriculars, is having a semi mandatory event of trick or treating for UNICEF. And the co-presidents/English teacher sponsor spoke with the assumption that we would be raising money for needy children along with collecting candy. (So instead of just going out and getting candy this year, you will also be asking for munny. There are many children in Africa...)

So in conclusion, I will, if the times are appropriate, dress up in something cute(either that or something so that everyone will think I am a boy) and enjoy another year of prolonged childhood.

Names and Images

2009-09-05T00:04:00.002-04:00

Well the first week of school where I live is over, and I hope everyone(does anyone : P) who visits here is well. This year I've seemed to have acquired better study habits, so I hope they can last and I can be successful in junior and senior year. (my dad says this is the year I need to get the "brick" to smash the "door" with...)

In other random topics, I have decided to get a new name. Everyone needs an alternative name right? Although the method of which I obtained mine isn't as authuntic as certain people's *cough* *cough* Ed, I think it is a good name and a good idea. Additionally, "Jessica" connotes (I almost wrote connotates) random things and causes people to recall certain stereotypes that are not me : P

So from now on, my name will be Clarance. (cue awkward silence) Well...th-the thing of it is, i-it is a nice name...and.......; But only online, and only on Fridays. I mean every day online... yeah cause I'm shouldn't be online much if it isn't Friday anyway : P

This is the week of new stuff for me... new classes, new teachers, new school stuff, and new glasses. So yay if I can't see something well(such as sometimes English where ironically front and center(my assigned seat) means very far from the board) I will have an accessory that is not pink and does not say Hannah Montana on the side. Yes laugh at me all you want but when I got them right before ninth grade I had no idea of what Hannah Montana was. My favorite excuse- not entirely true but it sounds kind of nice- I don't watch very much TV.

So yeah goodbye for now; Happy Friday!!! (well it's Saturday now but...)

First Day of School

2009-08-30T23:02:00.000-04:00

Tomorrow's the first day of school!!!

I will get 7 hrs of sleep and try to sleep by 9/10. Goodnight and more later!

Ages

2009-08-21T15:43:00.003-04:00

So it's been ages since I last posted, and nothing much has been going on. This summer I went to Massachusetts and hung out with my brother. Then the two of us returned here and I went to this two week "internship" thing which closely resembled a science summer camp. It was pretty cool, and we did stuff like dissect stuff(a shark, pig, lamb's heart, lamprey, and frog), build stuff (wooden bridges, windmill, crash system for a wooden car), and do math (statistics, modeling). Every evening I did hw. This week I hung out with some friends basically everyday (mall, sushi, library, bookstore). The summer has flown by, and there is only one week before school starts. I read the post from the beginning of summer and feel how quickly time has passed.

I intend to finish all the summer homework by sunday evening.

Junior year, the most stressful year of high school. I'm almost ready.

Rainy Days In Massachusetts

2009-06-24T15:56:00.003-04:00

Today was the last day of school for my 3rd grader brother. It was a half day and one of his "little :P" friends came over. I am also watching over our 7 year old neighbor. She is very cute. After twister and football, they are now playing guitar hero world tour. Since we only have 3 wiimotes (maybe as an effort to sell more wiimotes because each instrument needs 1 wiimote to function) I decided to catch up on internet stuff : )

This weekend we are going to a church picnic at a park. My 16th birthday is in about 2 weeks. I have 4.5 more weeks here in massachusetts before it's time to go back. No homework; no worries; no stress... so blissful. There are several more places I'm applying to as extracurriculars, but the thought of filling out applications is nowhere near as daunting as math tests or english projects.

As for that pesky summer work, I am planning on putting it off until the last 5 weeks of school (so it'll be fresh anyway). SAT studying... siiighhhhh... I'll put that off until the last 5 weeks also ^^

So how's everyone doing?

So What Have I been Up To

2009-06-18T11:55:00.002-04:00

Basically the last day of school was monday, and it is already Thursday! The past few days I've basically been volunteering at the library and going browsing at the mall. I bought a new pair of shoes, converses. High topped in black and white. Last night I got on my skateboard, and it was amazing. Just amazing. I can't believe I've been skateing in positively awful shoes for the past year.

This saturday I'm going to Massachusetts, for five weeks. I expect it to be fun - we are going camping and on a nature-ish retreat. This will be in addition to the usual fun places we go. Sigh, this summer is going to be awesome.

My summer goals - Well I haven't sat down and explicity pondered them yet - but I am planning to today. There are many little things like this I feel like I just HAVE to do. Once I figure out my goals and set up the fifth (annual?) summer vacation notebook where I write (OCD-edly) almost everything that I did everyday, I will post my goals.

Last Day of School

2009-06-14T18:14:00.005-04:00

Tomorrow at 9:25 AM my school year will have ended. Sophomore year. The end. Next year, junior year. Sigh....

I think I need a new layout for my blog though. The background is too black; reading hurts my eyes : P(sorry uh readers?). Also the color scheme and setup just really doesn't want me to visit this site. So yeah.

For my birthday I greedily want many things from my father. I would like a decent skateboard, a nintendo wii game, a new pair of sneakers, a pair of jeans, a pair of shorts, and a shirt. But really, I do need a pair of sneakers! I only have like 1 that isn't ripped up, and it's a good pair that I can't just wear on a rainy day or to play soccer on the grass or dirt. And I only have 1 pair of jeans. And I only have 1 pair of non-synthetic material shorts. And I currently use a borrowed skateboard(whose deck I really don't want to wear down anymore). And we don't have any wii games except for wii sports.

Hmm okay this is starting to sound pathetic...

I have many many great great things!(my father just didn't pay for any of them even though he

is supposed to provide for all expenses).

"You have a great pair of sneakers" - That mom bought on whim as extra stuff!

"You have many articles of clothing" - That mom bought!

"You have plenty of spending money" - That grandma sent over!

*insert father's speech about how mom, as my mom, should be ashamed of herself and purchase more clothes for me* - WTH!

This is one factor that annoys me... how can I respect/be endeared to him when he is constantly trying to squeeze money from my mom? When he doesn't provide for me? When he always tries to push responsibility(illistrated in other unmentioned unrelated instances) onto other people?

note: when I first wrote "greedily", I had meant it. Now, I'm irritated and mad.

General Stuff

2009-06-12T10:15:00.003-04:00

If I do everything I intend to, I'll die. From boredom/exhaustion. If I put everything off, I will be so mad at myself. The key is to find some balance...

So I will now write about many things I've wanted to have a record of:

Firstly, I have 1 exam left before my summer vacation. My gpa is sitting at 3.85/3.86 (unweighted); it has (hopefully, providing I didn't and won't get D's on any exams) survived another semester and I am happy.

I was reading a really depressing book, called Hacking Harvard, a fictional work about some high school students on a wager to get a completely uninterested, unmotivated, and idiotic person into harvard. It is slightly satirical as it comments on the flaws in college admissions systems. This thought makes me depressed. Also, my numerous activities don't seem so great as I read; I feel like a person who is just 'a dime a dozen'. I then began to research tips for getting into ivy league schools...etc. It made me really want to get into this "fellows'" program about social leadership where you are guided into working on a project (such as fighting poverty) that will actually impact your community.

Which brings me to my next point - I was waitlisted. And I doubt I have much chance. After reviewing (inside my head of course) the reasons, I realized that my flaw was probably that I hadn't provided specifics on how I could proceed with my idea(of helping kids in poverty). Sure I have demonstrated leadership in other things, but it wasn't enough to beat the other 7 overachieving, opportunity-grabbing, eager and enthusiastic applicants for 2 spots for RM.

Inspired by my college reading, I have decided to attempt a shot at writing a supplementary email detailing my promising-ness and how I would attempt my project. Hey it might help if it's possible to get off that waitlist.

Next point - that event has been awful timing, since it is part of a one two punch in my morale. DG, infamous to my friends(:P) to whom I've blabbered unceasingly about said person, is finally out of reach. Even though I've accepted it, I have regrets and wistful wishes that it could somehow have worked out. Three nights ago on gchat he gently but firmly suggested one last time that I move on. I accepted it. The day before yesterday, after a morning of exams, I was walking on my way to the library, after having fallen sleep on the bus, and realized that it was all over. School was nearly over. Sophmore year had come to an end. And my slot with DG was closed. For nearly 4 months I had thought unceasingly about him; now it was over. And combined with everything else, it made me really depressed.

Another year has gone by; bad grades; emotional ups and downs; quarrels with parents; and what has come of it? Why am I doing all this? Why do I compete? Because I am competitive and egoistic. I realized that by coming to RM, I was sealing my fate to be forever lazy, prone-to-procrastination, attempting-to-be-overachieving, striving to better, unable-to-allow-myself-to-rest, wanting to be "successful and great". And my definition of such has changed. It doesn't mean getting straight A's anymore. It also doesn't mean getting into a meager ivy league college. It doesn't mean earning the money to live in a decent house. My goals have changed. How could I go to RM, slaving every day, being completely overstressed, working myself alongside every other IB magnet student, and be satisfied going to a college such as maryland? After all that work and worry, after all those real, attainable goals, sitting in class with people who could easily get into Harvard and Princeton, how could I live knowing I had a shot, but couldn't make it? Everyone thinks differently; unfortuneatly I'm one of those people who does want to get into a top college for, simply, the heck of it. I want to be the best, in the general use of the term. I'm nowhere near that in IB, but perhaps somewhere in the upper quartile if you factor in extracurriculars. Do I think I'm smart? yeah. Do I want it? yeah. Do I actually have the ablility to do it? Yes probably. But could I? Would I be lucky enough to meet the right people? To do the right things? Could I get the right grades next year? I'm not talking about going to Harvard(yes I am vainly obcessed). I'm talking about my ideals, my definition of success. Going to a college with the name and prestige that will give me the extra umph I'll need to propel into a top spot in the financial industry. In business. In somewhere competetive where I could fail and succeed. A college that could give me the backing I need to recover from possible failure.

Or maybe I'm all wrong. If you zoom out your video production camera lens, you'll see that the world is a small place. Nothing you do really matters. 50 years from now... it doesn't matter what... but the good things you do and the positive impact you have on the lives of the people around you. Yes I agree completely. But I'm just trying to find some satisfaction for myself. FOR ME. Yes, okay I will go work on that email now. And it doesn't matter if I get it; it was just another opportunity after all.

Could I get into Harvard? It's not as unattainable as one thinks. Depending on my grades next year, my SAT and SAT subject tests scores, what opportunities I am presented with and what I seize, time will tell.

One thing that wows me/makes me proud is that nearly two years ago, I had taken my pre-first day of school steps into RM. I had gotten onto the soccer team, and that made me very proud. I was given an orientation tour by some students. I had decided that that was what I wanted to do. Now I know that they were probably the sga exec board. I looked up at and to soem of them. Now I am a member of that board. I outcompeted many people for my slot of 16. It has been more than two years since I recieved that fat letter in the mail at our small apartment, jumping with glee that I was going to Blair or RM. More than two years since I went to the IB open house, on a guided tour by a couple of IB juniors. We went into a 9th grade classroom and I realized that was what I would be. Now it is two years later. I am on the brim, the edge? of the pool, about to dive into IB for real. I am ecstatic, and I will proudly wear my Richard Montgomery Executive Board T-shirt as I guide incoming freshman, some IB, on that orientation tour.

fine.

Final Exams

2009-06-09T18:43:00.001-04:00

Remember this time last year? Oh it was so hectic and I was so nervious and so excited about summer! Now I'm just like bleh. Hehe next year there will be almost no exams!!! Sigh another year of my life has past; another year of the lives of the dear readers : )

Only two years to go... oh what will I do? Where will I go? When will I finally reach emotional maturity : P ?

Welcome New People

2009-06-09T18:41:00.002-04:00

Recently an especially chivorous friend has given me some free publicity in their immensely popular series regarding Arrem(sp). So uh in case anyone has decided to visit... hello. This is my blog. It is very personal; now you know more about me : )

Bed Late

2009-06-05T01:53:00.000-04:00

For the past week I've been going to bed at around 2-3 am. Note the time right now. I guess before my only motivation to go to bed earlier (11ish/12) was that I needed to stay awake to be able to pay attention in my crucial classes. Now those are over (relaxing, chatting, watching movies or playing guitar hero). In fact tomorrow is the second to last day of school! Then we have final exams, and then we're done. This year has gone by so quickly! It feels like early May, not well into June! Ahh the bliss of after ap testing; it had been so wonderful.

So. Yeah.

5 Minute Tofu Stir-fry

2009-05-25T14:08:00.009-04:00

This is an awesome dish for lunch or a quick dinner.

Ingredients: 1 block tofu (I used about a 2X3X4); some hot peppers(I used 4 dried mini chilies but you can use a jalopeno or something); sauce (this time I used hot

sauce and oyster sauce but really any sauce(barbeque, steaksauce...etc) will do); a little oil(for frying)

1. Slice the block of firm tofu into little 1cm cubed squares.

2. Pop it(on a plate) in the microwave and heat for 2 minutes.

3. Meanwhile, put some oil(about 1 tsp.) into a pan.

4. Add the hot peppers(sliced or broken apart) and heat on high for 20 seconds.

5. Drain the pre-heated tofu and add that.

6. Stir with chopsticks or spatula while adding sauces.

7. After about 2 minutes(depending on how well you drained the tofu) the tofu should be firm and colored(depending on your sauce).

8. Empty onto a plate and serve with rice and fresh vegetable.

Kinda 'duh' simple but still good : D

Food

2009-05-22T20:20:00.002-04:00

Should I post recipies for food on my blog? Like how to's with pics of my favorite food? Hmm...

Oh yeah here's the 2008-2009 tide publicity editors' final commercial. It aired for 2 days on RMBC and was very popularily(if that's a word) praised :D

Personally I see a mess of flaws, but lightsabers are magical solutions to all problems.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bP2bP1Hmg74

Party

2009-05-22T19:30:00.001-04:00

So Carraka, is your par - tay still on????!!!!?????

Will there be lots of boys there like you promised????!!!!???? Angela and I have almost moved to pretend to make carpooling plans. We're so environmentally conscientious.

Hello World!!!

2009-05-22T18:44:00.007-04:00

//below if the test method in class Hello World!!!

public static void main (String [ ]args)

{

System.out.println("Hello World!!!");

Person d = new Person( );

todayDate = getDate( );//instance property initialized in person's default constructor

System.out.println(howIsTheWorldToday(d));

}//end main

//below are some methods in class Hello World!!!

public String howIsTheWorldToday(Person d)

{

if (isPerplexing(d))

return "One of the people in the world, xxnemesis, is confused."

else

return "Still the usual. Global warming. War. Economic recession. Left wing politics.";// :PPPPPPPPPP

}//end howIsTheWorldToday

public static boolean isPerplexing(Person d)

{

int perplexing = 0;

if(d.getReplies().length>3)//The unshown getReplies method returns an arraylist.

{

for (String rep : d.getReplies( ))

if (isNeg(rep))

perplexing++;

}//end if statement

if (perplexing>3)

{

System.out.println("xxnemesis2010 has been very annoying to a person today.");

return true;

}//end if statement

else

return false;

}//end isPerplexing method

public boolean isNeg(String personDReply)

{

if (personDReply == "no" || personDReply == "No!" || personDReply == " " || personDReply == "Why should I tell you that?" || isThreat(personDReply))

return true;

else if (d.almostInjuredOtherPerson())

return true;

else return false;

}//end isNeg( );

The isThreat method, not shown, determines whether a String is a threat. i.e. If you ____ then you should start fearing for your career in ____.

the almostInjuredOtherPerson class determines if person d had almost injured another person. i.e. Whether or not person d had maliciously snatched a newspaper from someone's hand, thereby almost accomplishing the impossible feat of giving a papercut with the edge of a newspaper.

*//end of code

If you would like to test the Hello World!!! class, please email me. Note: testers of the class are required to give feedback.

;)

*dedicated to person d. Thx for brightening my days man.

Crossword

2009-05-16T22:17:00.003-04:00

I have just finished my first crossword. It is very ugly. There are zillions of acronyms that I had never ever heard of before. And it has broken many crossword rules(there are single letters between black spaces/walls; there are two letter words; the black spaces are not diagonally symmetrical). But I love it. Because I toiled about 3 hours over it. Just spacing it; I haven't made clues yet. Additionally, the right side is much less ugly than the left, probably because I discovered crossword rules and also gradually improved as I went along. So yeah I guess I'll post it online after I get it off the graph paper.

: D

Catix.ten

2009-05-15T01:50:00.003-04:00

An evil place.

Well not really. However whenever I think of it, the first word that pops into my head is 'Evil'. More on it later.

(I think since I put the url in the title I'm safe from discovery by this party. Not that I would really mind that much, but... not yet...)

Edit:

Ok nevermind. It's still a hyperlink. Which is why I changed it to 'ten' :P

Visiting my grandparents this summer!!!

2009-05-15T01:42:00.003-04:00

I don't want to speak too soon, but I'm probably going to China this summer to see my grandparents.

I was raised by my elderly, loving grandparents. After having lived hard lives and survived through China's cultural revolution, the doctor/clinician/farmer/silk factory executive/doctor(s) (you can guess when on this timeline the revolution hit...) were semi-retired(grandpa according to dad is a control freak and so insisted on returning to managing the silk factory) and completely devoted with indescribable affection to me. By age 3 or 4(supposedly) they had taught me to read and write over 1000 chinese characters; sing dozens of patriotic songs; do speedy arithmatic...etc. On weekends my grandparents would take me on day trips to nearby cities, lakes, wildlife parks, and other amazing siteseeing places. And then there's always the classic indicator of whether a child is being spoiled: what happens when they ask for ice cream? After learning-oriented day care, I would always pull my grandma to one of the ice cream vendors set up by the street. Or one of the candy-toyish item vendors. And she would always buy me whatever I wanted.

And at the end of the day, they would always remind me how much they loved me. And they would remind me how much they wanted me to succeed. And they hugged me a lot. (Maybe that's why I hug/touch/poke people so much. Also apparently some people like leaning for example on others, but do not like it when others lean on them? Well uh if you're reading this and you know me, I'd just like to share that I don't mind being leaned-on.)

Oh how much I miss my grandparents. Now my grandfather(ever so control-freakish according to my dad) is EIC at an ultrasound magazine in Beijing : ) And he has even wrote books on how to use computers too!(amazing to me since I frequently find myself showing people in his generation how to use computers) And my grandparents have strongly(actually much more strongly than appropriately describable) invited me to spend a few weeks this summer in china with them. Oh how excited I am!!! I miss them a lot.

Huh!?

2009-05-08T23:31:00.003-04:00

In posting this I am being a tiny bit hypocritical(if anyone wants an explanation I will post it in the comments; or I will make a new post about it), however I will proceed.

Please view the following yahoo news story:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090508/ap_on_re_us/us_school_dance_flap

Basically, a high school senior attending a private religious christain school has a girlfriend attending a public school. He wants to take her to the prom at her school. The school board has threatened the senior with expulsion.

Important facts:

The school board is made up of church members.

The school is 'fundamentalist'.

The school is rural.

The principle, apparently speaking for God, stated essentially that God doesn't approve of prom. God doesn't approve of rock and roll music.

According to the article which referanced the school christain manual, rock and roll music, which will inevitably *gasp* be played at the prom, "is part of the counterculture which seeks to implant seeds of rebellion in young people's hearts and minds".

The principle also implied that it was highly likely the couple would have premarital sex. And of course, he used that 'buzzword' techinque to take additional irrelevant stabs to make the issue more cloudy and unclear.

Did I just lapse into a time-space continueum that took me to the 60's? Or better yet the time of the 1st great awakening?

A Feeling

2009-05-08T19:19:00.007-04:00

Oh I have a feeling that this blog will starting today very possibly be truely revived. For some inexplicable reason I feel close to the same way as I had last year when I had excitedly started this blog.

On a different note, all the soccer games at the germantown soccerplex have been cancled : (
As mentioned on my previous post, it has been continuously raining. When it wasn't raining it was unceasingly cloudy. As a result all the fields, despite drainage systems which cause the fields to have indents and sideline curves, have been thoroughly saturated. However now that I think about it, this incident doesn't pertain to me at all. I wasn't planning on going to this Saturday's game anyway, because It starts at 2:10 and I teach an English class for elderly Chinese adults at the Chinese School every Saturday from 2 to 5 pm.
So. Moving on with my day : )

As a completely irrelevant side note,
Earlier this afternoon I realized that the blue post title boxes were really clash with the general schemes of the blog. Or maybe the starry background is the problem. I suppose I will try to do something similar to lowering the opacity or removing it altogether.

Exhausted

2009-05-08T19:07:00.003-04:00

So it's 7:06 on a cloudy Friday evening and I feel exhausted. Not in the sense that I cannot stand up or go running, but that I just don't want to do anything whatsoever. This entire week, ever since Tuesday, I've just been:

Get home; empty backpack
Get snack; sit down in front of the computer and do random stuff
Eat dinner; sit in front of computer some more
Glance at ap study book for 45 min with 50% concentration
Go to bed because I just can't stay awake at all even though it is only 11.

Maybe it's because there isn't that much pressure of homework. Or maybe it's because of the continuous, unrelenting rain. It rains; it stops for a couple hours; it starts again. Oh groan I am so lazy! Next week will be better. I will apply my free time that I have gained from the loss of homework from my 2 most burdensome in terms of workload classes to practice soccer, finish videos, play guitar, and better my english commentary writing.

Yes! I feel empowered.

Tide Editorship

2009-05-04T16:56:00.004-04:00

So over the span of the past week I have learned a very valuable lesson: nothing is for sure.
I have been probably the most active sophmore in tide for the past year, and I didn't even get a section editorship last monday. After a week up upsetness and turmoil, I have been placed as a third features editor. Features is my favorite section to read, and of course I think I would work well with it. Before I was sure EIC would be mine for the taking; now it is wavering as I begin the unpleasant-feeling-provoking thoughts of figureing out who does what and what my chances are. What happened to me!!? Anyway, I'm pretty sure everything will be fine. But sheesh, what a bad/tense week. For now, I will just chill, take those ap tests, and make features into an awesome section.

On a differnt note, I really hope to be able to visit china this summer. I want to return to Beijing and relax, go shopping, and have fun. I want to see my cousin, aunt and uncle, and grandparents. There are also three other important things I must do - complete the online health course, go to that internship which I think I have landed, and volunteer as a lead team member at the library. As well as visit massachusetts for 4 weeks. So yeah. Hoping for an awesome summer.

Anyone here have good plans for the summer?

Meh

2009-04-27T23:25:00.003-04:00

It's 11:24 and I'm just getting around to doing stuff. Read hist amsco, do chem w/s, edit video. Earlier today I shot some film of a soccer ball being kicked but it didn't turn out so great. On the bright side I love my new soccer ball and I found out today that the cleats I had gotton for 50 bucks are now listed/selling for 90 :D

They are super cool and white and light with adidas stripes.

Dearest Stalkers

2009-04-19T22:07:00.004-04:00

Dearest Visitors,

Thank you so much for visiting my blog(that is if you exhist). I will try to post interesting thing in the future.

Sincerely,
xxnemesis *weeps like lucy manette with happiness*

p.s. oh the days of ttc or totz or tator tots
p.p.s. please feel free to comment. Since I stalk people, I don't mind if you stalk me. (and commenting isn't even stalking)
p.p.p.s. : )

Looking Back

2009-04-19T21:36:00.002-04:00

The one month anniversery(sp) of my blog has passed somewhat recently. Oh how active I was in terms of blogging way back then. It seems like now my blog posts are just wistful recollections, random complaints, and promises to myself to start blogging again.

On a different cynical/pessimistic note, an acqaintence of mine has launched his website which is a blog. He apparently created his own wordpress theme, and writes as if he will soon attract numerous visitors who will post many interesting and constructive things. A link on his website led me to another website, also administrated by an acquantence. This makes me feel like I should try to create my own blogspot theme. Should I?

Umm... blogspot stuff is with html right? Sigh I don't even know that much. I have tried countless times, since 6th grade, to learn html, to no avail. I currently I remember 3 colors... and basic text formatting. rofl. I remember back in 7th grade, when I played a lot of neopets and chaired a neopets guild with 30 something people. And I administrated it with a council of 4 other people. And I compiled lots of stuff with html to make custom layouts every month. What happened to me!?

Okay. Next task: learn html.

Rereading

2009-04-07T08:59:00.001-04:00

I was prompted to revisit my blog today. Then I began reading my previous posts. Oh the memories of a year gone by! I have yet again decided to try to blog more. It is so rewarding to read over stuff that I had written before. I shall try to write more.

It's been bothering me

2009-03-14T00:41:00.002-04:00

"Xxnemesis, if you continue to ambush me after class, about the numerical points of your grade, when I have a million other things to do, I will not .../change of tone/... be able to explain to you clearly how it works."

Pre-
Xxnemesis(But, but didn't you just say that the 4's are 90% and 4.5's are... so is a 3.5 a C? "Yes, it's a 75%." But then... I'm really confused now...)

Post-
*insert really hurt/sorry/about-to-cry feeling* (internally of course; externally I stopped smiling and became really solemn)
I'm sorry...I'm sorry... (I say)

It was definatly unwise of me to attempt to talk to this teacher when she was so busy amonst the presentations. But it was afterclass... and I had come in during lunch but been unable to talk to her... and the numbers I had been talking about were really clear...
I feel so bad now. It's been bothering me all day since 6th. This is the worst thing I've ever had a teacher say to me.

(Except for my racist 4th grade teacher who constantly made racial jokes against me and pretended to jokingly discriminate me because I wasn't a citizen; of course I thought it was funny back then and liked this teacher because I was too young to understand).

The other experiance was at the end of 8th grade. I had 8th grader itis and after the Kings Dominion trip we had to wait on the bus for a then indefinate period of time because a few people got lost/didn't care about arriving at the buses on time so we could leave. I was dizzy and nauseated from being on the bus (even though the bus wasn't moving the scent and atmosphere made me feel sick). My friend also was, but even worse than me. So we asked to go to the water fountains 30 yards from the bus. No, the unpopular and un-easygoing gym teacher I had had the year before said. A short while later they let a special ed kid off. (the middle school was 1/8th special ed, like rm is 1/5 magnet IB). Even though I know, ya know, ...etc, and of course am nice and friendly with them like with all my other classmates in classes we share such as gym, I was angry at the teacher(who was, again, very unpopular and uneasygoing and just seemed to be a not nice person who dislikes us and somewhat delibratly makes us unhappy(my personal observations from 7th grade)). So my eighth grader, second to last day of school, self decided to stand up for myself and my friend and ask again if we could get a drink and some fresh air. I was prompted by the fact that this really not nice person was being super-extra nice to this special kid, but if we are always talking about equality, why should they be given better treatment? Sure, they're different, they learn differently...etc, but this was a matter of fairness between students. So I asked again. And recieved a condeming lecture about how selfish I was, and how I had been "falsely accusing" people of "cheating" at sports during gym, and a bunch of other attacks on my character. Seriously, I swear out of nowhere. Then the teacher said that the other kid had thrown up at the park. "Throw up! Throw up for me! If you throw up too I'll let you get off!", she almost shouted. I was just speechless. And went and sat back down.
Now I wish that I had reacted differently. I shouldn't have asked again, but after that condemning lecture I should have come up with a comeback about equality or rights. Or I should have "called my parents", the classic solution to such problems. But who did that person think she was? How dare she speak to me like that? Thinking back I am again reminded of how 'kids' or 'teens' or whatever are not taken seriously. I am not taken seriously. And it bothers me. Had I been not-a-kid, I wouldn't have been treated like that. But then again, I wouldn't have been in that situation in the first place. Another similar thing happened at Circuit City with their rotten customer service but I won't rant about that now.

But anyway getting back on topic I feel really bad about my rudeness to the teacher today. Although I don't think it was very outragious or rude at all. I politely and nicely said one thing, got lectured for 30 seconds, sadly/sincerely/pathetically apoligized twice, and left. I had thought that it was my fault, but now I am thinking that it's not. I also am 99% sure that I am right about the grade. So now I am starting to conclude that I got yelled at for an error the teacher made. A double error, mistake and then refuse to fix. Of course these kinds of confrontations occur very frequently, and no one probably thinks much of them. But still... sigh...

I guess the only way to make myself feel better is to buy a $5 box of those cool designed chocolates and bring it on Monday...

Embarrasment

2009-02-21T22:19:00.002-05:00

Online, for example on forums, have you ever had the urge to post something, but then for some obscure reason not, and then later find out that had you done so, you would have seemed/sounded very moronic?
The above situation tends to happen to me a lot... a variation of me actually posting the moronic thing has also happened. Sigh... I suppose the solution would be to be less arrogant.

Three Things That Happened Today

2009-01-05T21:23:00.003-05:00

As a prelist: today was a great day. I feel warm and fuzzy inside.

Significant Happening 1 : The return to school; Ang. and Carraka were oh - so sunny and rosy..:P

Significant Happening 2 : I had an arguement with people on youtube regarding the significance of a mushroom cloud.

Significant Happening 3: I discovered a nice, special, and quiet place outside where I can perhaps sit for a couple minutes in the evenings.

Postlist: The said place is on the corner of this shopping center. If you walf further 'into' the corder there is this canopy of branches on a stone frame, with a stone floor and benches. If you go up, there is another, smaller place. It has benches and a canopy too, but is brightly lit like a spotlight. However, if you halfway descend the stairs that lead you to the spotlight benches and canopy, you will find yourself within the shadow of the stone and trees. You can see the parking lot, but the stairs conceal you from the courtyard, and the shadows conceal you from the plaza. It is a very nice place.

Winter Break

2008-12-29T00:53:00.003-05:00

So my little bro is here; he's cute; annoying; smart (I guess...); and really cooperative (but less than he used to be). Winter break is about almost half over; I got a wii for xmas; I barely started on the break hw...
I guess that's it.

Winter break has made me lazier. Every day I promise myself that I will do x amount of things, but I never do. However, I PROMISE that I will do everything except finish math and do this video storyboard thing by the end of tuesday. I promise.

And happy holidays, caraka and angela. Win any money in vegas?

Stock Ticker

2008-12-18T23:59:00.003-05:00

There is a stock ticker -->
on the right side of the screen. I need to figure out how to add companies to the ticker. And how to set up a Scottrade account. And how to invest. Sigh I remember when I was 9 a 10 year old was on the news for his stock market investing. And just before that my dad had wanted to teach me. But then for some reason he decided not to. Maybe he gave up on me... sigh...

But now that I think about it, maybe its good that he didn't teach me. So now i can learn on my own through the internet. Because he isn't that great at investing...

I hate myself

2008-12-16T17:08:00.003-05:00

I completely %*&$^%ed up the math test. The test that ruined my week last week; that I stayed up past 12 to study for; the semester's easiest test; I totalled &%*#&%*ed it up due to COMPLETE MORONIC LAZY CARELESSNESS!!! Even though those words don't really make sense together. I hate myself. I am a complete *$&%*#(, $*$&*#&, and *&$^%$#. My entire semester's hard work is half ruined. Or perhaps utterly ruined. My grade is ruined; my morale is ruined; and my self confidence, that I might possibly be able to do well without doing every single &&$$&ing problem in the book and handouts the night before the test, is ruined. I hate myself. 10 seconds after the test I thought I did fine. 5 seconds after that I realized I missed two; 1 minute after that I realized I lost at least 6. Or 5, but I highly doubt it. And all the errors could have been easily avoided, had I worked more carefully.
This doesn't really matter at all, obviously, but I still hate myself. And my stupidness, laziness, and just general lack of intelligence. I hate myself.
And now I have wasted 45 minutes moping around on the floor and typing this.

The True Ressurrection of My Blog

2008-12-09T23:05:00.002-05:00

After several months of abscence I have come back to my blog. Tonight I read over some of the posts. I liked them very much. Somehow, I feel as if I wrote better back then than right now. But I often feel that way when I look back at past essays.

Anyway, I have decided to give blogging another try, similarily to how I have frequently visited certain websites; then stopped; and then started again. I have definatly benefited from reading last school year's posts.

So as the title says, this is the ressurrection of my blog. I will post here about my daily life, my opinions of the world, and other things that interest me.

In mutatione pertinacia - Change in Determination; I will make this work

The ressurection of my blog

2008-08-31T21:15:00.002-04:00

Well, my blog just kind of died out last year with summer and stuff, but I figured it is a worthy investment of time, so I shall continue it :)

My guitar playing is great now. I am a successful guitar owner with a black jackson rhodes js guitar that has a black fire-ish strap that is pretty cool(step one of three). I can also, after 4 1/2 weeks of lessons, play many songs, one of which, "Stairway to Heaven", is apparently a milestone.
Since I like to brag(it is, after all, my blog), I will say that my teacher repeatedly said I was very talented and he later commented that it was wierd I could play so well. Also, the 'substitute' guitar teacher I had on the last lesson said that he found it hard to believe that I had only been taking lessons for four weeks :D

Anyway, my dream used to be that I could play The Hell Song by Sum 41, including the really cool guitar solo (my dreams are rather long term and wild). Now I can actually play everything except the solo really well, and I'm beginning to work on the solo! Yeah, I'm happy :)

School started this past Tuesday, and now I have a large amount of homework. Oh well :) I gotta get back. I moped around Friday and Yesterday, and I have to do other stuff tomorrow.

My New Guitar

2008-07-07T22:31:00.002-04:00

I got a guitar on Saturday. It is very nice. This basic model in the Jackson Rhodes series is still very cool. Despite not knowing much about guitar, I can say that it plays both clear and very heavy, and would be perfect for heavymetal.

I have now accomplished step 1 of 3(buy a guitar) in order to 'play guitar'.

(Step two is to practice frequently for a period of time, and step three is to study devotionally for the rest of your life.)

Tomorrow I'm going to a person from church's house with my friend from church for a first lesson. Yay!

Although, I suppose I could sarcastically say that some of my most favorite things about my wonderful guitar are that its unique shape causes me to struggle in order to properly place it on my stand, none of the inexpensive guitar bags in the store would fit it, and, best of all, it is very uncomfortable to play when sitting down with my cord plugged in. And my dad won't invest in a guitar strap, so I cannot play standing.

All gloom aside, I am really looking forward to getting way better, and am looking forward to the day when I can play the guitar solo and guitar parts of Hell Song by Sum 41.

Sighhhhhh *gazes wistfully at something*

Summer

2008-07-04T10:38:00.002-04:00

Perhaps summer vacation is simply for relaxing and not blogging. My internet's broken too. I've also pretty much given up on my crush on, my former crush on, Htoope. Oh well.
My summer vacation homework has still not been complet3d. I must work harder on it. My goal for the next 2 weeks is to finish my spanish and math stuff! And I'll do english in the last 4 weeks. K.

I'm Baaack!!!!

2008-06-21T22:27:00.002-04:00

XXnemesis2010 is finally back from her two week abscence. Various causes, such as a broken internet connection, contribute.
In the past week, I've gone to the mall twice, the shopping center twice, bought a new pair of shoes(finally), $50 of clothes, volunteered for 12 hours, and lots of other stuff. Yup, I'm happy. My little bro came today; he's staying for four weeks. Also, I had a 9 minute phone conversation with Htoope today. *grin* And I finally got back in touch with one of my old friends. :DDDD
Yaaayyy!!! Summer, here I come!!!

Twas' the night before the deadline and my friends' messaaages said to meeeee...

2008-06-07T22:33:00.002-04:00

Check out this screenshot I took the night before the final english essay deadline.

Basically, the scenario is that:

This screenshot was taken last Tuesday.

This essay, the last essay of the year, is due on Wednesday.

The essay was assigned last Friday.

Final exams start on Thurdsay.

In case you didn't know, this is the left hand chat box on my gmail. 8 of 11 people, including me, are online. I've blurred out the real names of people.

At 9:25 PM 5 of these 8 people's messages have to do with that English essay:

Me-'essay- 2 exps.'... exps. stands for examples. I need two examples and a conclusion to finish. And I still need to study for math!!!!!!

Psyc. Friend 1- 'YEAH! DIE!~~~~' die? (She is referring to the English essay, by the way). This friend happened to have stayed up past 1 AM that night, or shall I say morning.

Carefree Friend I- 'english essay. m...'= english essay. math... This person is normally quite carefree.

Psyc. Friend II- 'ESSAY!! GO DIE!!' so now we know where th earlier 'YEAH! DIE!'... message came from. Also, Psyc. Fri. II's message later changed to 'SUICIDE!!!'.

Friend I- 'DON'T TALK TO...' me. How friendly.

Your gmail status shows, well, your status. 9:25 PM this is how these people, including me, feel. What does that say about us?

Da List

2008-06-06T22:53:00.003-04:00

List of things, mostly again for my benefit:

To Do:
Study for exams
Email MSI thing
Inquire job thing

Great Stuff:
Getting a new backpack
Parents are starting a cell phone plan for me
We're going to western Pennsylvania next weekend
I'm getting a GUITAR AND LESSONS!!!!!!!

Upcoming posts:
Interesting screenshot relating to IB stress
Our trip to Pennsylvania
Library caste system/buerocracy

Exam Study Schedule:
Saturday Morning- 1 and a half units
Afternoon- 2 and a half units+spanish go thorough vocab lists and packet

Sunday Morning- 1 unit and review packet
Afternoon- Spanish writing stuff and final preparations

Monday Afternoon- Go through biology packet, review and work with english stuff

Tuesday Afternoon- Final english preparations

I can't believe that over the past two days I've done virtually no studying except for on Thursday morning before going to the bus stop, when I thought there was school. I could have done so much in the past two days! Sigh... how well I'll just study hard 'over the weekend'.

Summer Schedule:

Wednesday- Last day of school. Exams end. Ask Alex if he had wanted to go ice skating that day like we planned, only after the half day.
Thursday- Volunteer at the library from 10AM to 12PM. Or maybe Alex wanted to go ice skating this day instead. Or else we'd have to reschedule to sometime the following week. bleh. If not then I'll stay in the library longer.
Friday- I think we're going to be in Pennsylvania that day... but I'm not sure.
Saturday and Sunday- Gonna be in Pennsylvania.

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday- Hw. Perhaps Tu... but probably not... stop daydreaming...
Also if Alex had wanted to go ice skating one of these days. And Elizabeth, if we could get together. Or Jen and Lisa. (All old friends of mine I haven't seen in like a year.)

Thursday- Volunteer at Libray. Hang out? Go to Rockville?

Friday- Same as Monday, Tuesday, And Wednesday. Prepare for Hurricane CB(crazy brother)'s upcoming massacre of the house.

Saturday Onward- 4 weeks of vacation until I go to mom's. Finish my homework in this period. Also try to have a job. Read mandatory and strongly recommended english books, do math packet, and do spanish grammer. Relax and have fun at the library until its time to go to Mass. And Htoope...

School!!! Study!!!

2008-06-03T20:21:00.003-04:00

In case you're wondering, I got two, yes two of the below stated long list of things done. The math portfolio and the gov. conclusion modifications.
Tonight I must finish my english essay and then study 2 units for math. And brush up on spanish. I feel like that time when I went to bed at 2:30. Only this time I don't get an immediate spring break- I need to study 3 math units tomorrow. And spanish.
K: finish english 2 examples by 9, whole thing by 9:30; math till 12;
relax and go to bed; spanish tomorrow morning during gov.

My shallow world at the moment

2008-05-30T23:41:00.003-04:00

K. Hey eveybody! Long time no post again :(

I'm busy. Like everyone else. Final exams are coming up. I have math and spanish(the two that need the most studying) this thursday. Friday is senior graduation so there's no school. Anyway, this weekend I need to:

Finish my computer science project on my compiler. *

Do my math portfolio. *

Type my math answers and send out the questions and answers. *

Write my english essay.

Study for the math exam.

Study for the spanish exam.

Finish my government cross examination. *

I was supposed to finish the starred ones today! :(

Yeah, packed and busy. I got next to no work done. AND, now my computer is screwed up because I tried to install an equation editor for my math portfolio but it isn't working out. Now I need to fix my computer. And go to bed. Tomorrow I'm doing everything except the english essay. Goodnight to myself.

Better post coming soon. By the way, the bottom post is again purely for my sake. OCD.

What is happening to me?- Part Two: Oh wait there's more

2008-05-28T15:45:00.009-04:00

This post has been temporarily replaced with temporary filler. Temporarily.

Haircut/ Life's story(well actually just a story from middle school)

2008-05-25T21:39:00.006-04:00

I got a haircut yesterday. My slightly puffy strait hair extended to the middle of my shoulderblades. A too short to look good down, too long to look good tied up. So I got it cut.

"How long do you want it?" "About shoulderlength please."
"Do you want it layered." "Yes please."
"Do you want it angled?" "No thank you."

It ended up kind of angled anyway, where the top half of my head is puffier than the bottom. And the bottom layer curls a little. I look like a boy.

Seriously, this morning at church(you know how I decided to go to church again) this person was like "this is so-and-so's son". And I was like "_____". Wahaaaaa.

This reminds me of this soccer game this fall. The Rich. Mont. JV soccer team was playing Mont. Blair(coincidentally the other magnet host school) and there was this midfielder/forward who was really really good. I think her name was Rebecca or Caroline or something, but she had puffy, almost shoulderlength blonde/brown hair and her face was not as petite as some of our school's preps'. Rebecca/Caroline's aggressive and talanted playing naturally invoked jelousy from our team, and this girl(not in a snooty way) started joking that she might be a boy.

I sure hope I don't get looked at funny tomorrow. A main reason I'm having such thoughts is that my dad(I jokingly call him Mr. Clueless or Mr. Radically-Honest) said "You look like a boy! Don't wear those sweatpants or people at church will start laughing at you."

Luckily there aren't any bullies in IB. Okay, I will now take 5 minutes to tell you a story that still makes me really really mad. Ahem:

My name, in chinese, is Jijie Y. You know how E's are sometimes silent in english? Well, my names is pronouncd [jee jie] (hope you got that). In chinese, there's this word called [jee jee] which means...uh that thing that males have. Anyway, on the first day of school I quickly correct teachers who leave out the e at the end, just in case any smart-ass chinese person makes a connection. In seventh grade, a person who I really loathe(because of this incident), the only person I loathe, realized and decided to start calling me jee jee. He'd taunt me and shout in the hallways. I can still remember the way he'd screw up his face and jeer. I've always been a little hot-tempered, so I'd shout for him to stop. Naturally, that just fueled him even more. Soon, one thing led to another and somehow the 70% of the seventh grade male population was calling me Jee Jee, on a regular basis. When they see me in the hallways, a there would be a chorus of shouts. In band (a class of 64), whenever a sub was there(who 95% of the time the sub called my name as Jee Jee), the boys would have a field day.
"Its no big deal. Just ignore them", you'd say. Well its kinda hard when whenever you pass people in the hallways, the group of about 10 people would confront you by calling you dick and dickface and jee jee. This trend continued and worsened into 8th grade. Variations of those incidents would occur about 7-10 times a day. Every day. It would happen 3-5 times in band class. I began to really hate band.
I guess it can be considered to be sexual harrassment. But not many of the teachers knew what jee jee meant. Its just another pre/teenage boy thing. And who would want to expend extra energy to stop dozens of guys from saying some words? Some chinese words? Who cared if it was making the life of a girl miserable? Hey, as long as her parents don't complain, and class isn't out of order, everything is fine. I told the band teacher once, and he talked to this person, but it was just one person out of all those jerks.
I began to wish I could hurt them really bad, especially Feihong Yang, the person who started it all. But luckily, my best friend in the whole world(I've known her since I was 10 and we could be described as inseparable. We lost touch during the past 5 months, but I called her again today and got her new email address) was totally supportive of me. We where together always, before school, between classes, during lunch, whenever. And she'd always be supportive, whenever they started teasing me.
All the taunting and teasing naturally had an effect on me. This is why I get really mad sometimes, really easily. I made a lot of enemies, because of my touchiness, which led to side-taking hatred. My best friend(her name is Elizabeth) stuck with me always. She never minded that I started yelling sometimes. She didn't care that certain people started disliking her because of me. She'd suggest all these quirky schemes of revenge against my tormentors.
Anyway, the end of eighth grade approached, and luckily my grades didn't suffer. I had strait A's, had been accepted into the IB program, had a whole huge summer to look forward to. The end of the school year trip passed, and the eighth graders graduated. I moved from Rockville several miles north in montgomery county. I started attending Richard Montgomery in the fall and made some pwnsome new friends. Thanks Angela, Carraka. I don't know how I could survive without you all. Even though we don't interact much, I know that you would be there for me.
Anyway, this story has a happy ending(I think), as I am exponentially more successful here at RM than I was at my middle school. I wrote several front page articles for our award winning school newspaper. I an now a newspaper editor. I was on the high school's soccer team. I have lots of awesome friends. I get along well with my classmates. I am a winner, and the insecure losers at my middle school will have/have already found someone else to torment.

This post started about my haircut, but I just want to thank Angela and Carraka for their awesomeness. Thank you. You mean a lot to me. I hope I can be a great friend to you, as you have been for me.

xxnemesis

And please don't laugh at my hair on Tuesday.

What is happening to me?

2008-05-23T18:42:00.012-04:00

This post has been replaced with temporary filler. Temporarily.

What I did last weekend

2008-05-23T17:57:00.002-04:00

Warning- I talk about religion in this post.

I think Richter wanted to know what I did, so:

Saturday
I had been invited to a luncheon. At the germantown library. It was a thank-you to the volunteers who do stuff like fix books, sort books, shelf books, type stuff...
The slightly ironic thing was that even though I had been invited to the luncheon for my volunteering, I still volunteered by helping with the luncheon.
Anyway, I got there at 10:30 and 'ran errands' with the volunteer coordinator. We went to Giant and this Amish Market to pick up balloons and platters. I then helped decorate the room, set the tables, and mix the punch. People arrived at 12:3o; I was one of three people under 50. This other boy and I, who were the only ones under 18, sat together and were told to take pictures. After eating, the fun began. Several people gave lenghty speeches, mostly composed of statistics and various types of fluff. Then the several dozen people the room took turns telling about their experiences volunteering. Several of the elderly people had very enthusiastic- and very specific- accounts. Not that I minded that much ;)
Later we were given opportunities to ask the administration(who had attended) questions. How will Montgomery County's $400 million dollar budget deficit affect the library? Somehow the blueprints of the Gaithersberg library, which included a drive-thru, were included in the reply. Last summer the library became the hangout of the teenagers. It was disgusting! Do you think that will be a problem this year? It turns out that you can throw a basketball from the information desk through the main enterance. Heh heh. Last year we had the police...
After nearly three hours the luncheon ended, and the boy and I helped clean up. My dad picked me up at four something. We then went grocery shopping and headed to this friend from church's house. He is one of the 'decons' of the church my dad goes to. It was this dinner-party type thing with a few other families.

My dad is christian; however I'm not sure if I believe in god. The host is a chemistry-major scientist, and the topic turned to how difficult it was for him to start believing. I stopped going to church in 7th grade because I felt as if I was pretending. Every Sunday, I'd get up and go to church. At sunday school, we sat in a little classroom where there were these lessons about god, and jesus, and their miracles. And usually, the whole time, I'd be thinking stuff like- god isn't real; why would he do this if he was; radioactive dating says the earth is billions of years old; if god loves us why would he cause this devistation; if god created our natures and personalities, why would he still need to test us; if he loved us why would he test us in certain ways, and when we failed to do a certain thing because that was the way he made us, he would then punish us; and why are people born with sins?- Because Adam and Eve sinned. Funny thing how Eve, the female, was the one who listened to Satin and caused this? And why do the things Adam and Eve did impact me?
Anyway, the more I though the madder I'd get, until I concluded bad stuff.
Also the church I went to had some anti-female/male dominace issues. Various little to moderate things that ticked me off. And whenever we'd have a communion during children's worship, and they'd say "whoever believes in god...accepts Jesus Christ into their heart...step up here to ask for forgiveness of their sins"... I did not want to step up; I was not sure if I believed in god. But I couldn't just stay seated, when all the other children stepped up. So I did, and ate a piece of the hard little cracker type thing, and drank a tiny bit of the grape juice. But it just didn't feel right. So gradually I stopped going, and my dad got busier with work and he stopped going, so we didn't go to church anymore.
Anyway, I've gotten distracted again. So recently this year my dad started going again, and after listening to how this chemist/scientist came up with all these questions and valid reasons and stuff, and that in the end they manadged to convince him, I've decided to go to church too. On Sunday I'm going to go to church with my dad.

What I did last sunday:
HW. All day long. Mixed in with various petty distractions. Some english notes took over 5 hours. Sigh. I also went swimming.

About the boy I wrote about- I don't think he likes me. Sigggghhhhhh. I still really like him. I've concluded that since I only see him during gym, and I'm not that great at badminton, I need to find some other way to show off. I tried to sit with him during lunch today; he wasn't there, but now I get along pretty well with his friends. Well anyway, maybe I can join him some morning when he does math homework.

Still Busy

2008-05-22T16:41:00.003-04:00

A stack of stuff has piled up- biology presentation, math project, TIDE COMMERCIAL!!!
Somehow, despite being one of three video editors, I always end up taking the stuff home to edit. Not that I mind; I like feeling important and the people I work with are really nice. But.... pressure...

Anyway, I tried to find time to post yesterday but I was too tired; I promise I'll post tonight or tomorrow. (if anyone's reading this blog, that is)

Jessica

Sry for lack of posts

2008-05-19T23:13:00.002-04:00

Hey everyone! Sorry for the lack of posts; I had a busy weekend, and no one really feels like posting on a Monday right? Tomorrow I have to stay afterschool for a commercial; wednesday I have to work on my biology presentation; thursday I also have to work on the commercial. Hmm... promise I'll post within the next 2 days.

And about Tu- I'm in the process of figureing out whether he really likes me. No posts about Tu for 1 week! (or maybe not...)

In love with a pwnsome boy

2008-05-16T22:32:00.006-04:00

Warning- xxnemesis is being affected by hormones that is causing her to act like a wierd teenager. The following is partially for my OCDed self. Its unedited. Read if you want.

His name is Tu. Or something that sounds like the number 'two'. I've known him since soccer in like January. Actually, more like March. I noticed him during soccer. He was one of the only boys whom I could kind of defend when he came down the field during indoor soccer (much gentler, less aggressive). He had shoulderlengh strait black hair and somehow reminded me of professor snape from harry potter. I privately(inside my head) referred to him as 'the snape guy', because I didn't know his name.

Weeks go by, with me playing gym soccer in which I was one of two girls, and the other girl, Emily, was large and very aggressive and mean and not that great at socccer. 'The snape guy continued to play. His movements were very fluid. The boys kick hard, and when a soccer ball flys near, they all turn so they could block with their backs. During these situations he sometimes made zero degree turns on his heels. 'The snape guy' played goalie sometimes, and and would block the corners of the semi-circle goal with the backs of his calves, with more zero degree turns. I also liked how when I defended against him I didn't need to fear getting a soccer ball in the face because he didn't make those ridiculous kicks that had no chance whatsoever of accomplishing anything, besides causing possible damage.

Originally durng soccer, we split into 3 teams and the losing team rotated off when one team made a goal. Then we changed to just two, slightly larger teams. Once after class, after a decent performance during soccer on my part, on the way out of the gym, 'the snape guy' smiled at me. I (don't ask) gave him a 'thumbs up' sign, and he returned it with a smile. Not one of those I-am-a-really-hot-jock smiles, but a light and nice simle from a lower-medium height kid with a lower-medium sized build.

More weeks passed, and on May 7th we started playing badminton.(Angela, I remembered wrong.)(How do I know it was May 7th? On May 6th I had a math quiz. I needed to ask my teacher for help. There was a teacher's luncheon and I was wondering whether my math teacher was going during lunch help time(in the end he didn't). We couldn't play soccer because there were teacher's luncheon tables set up in the soccer gym. This was the first day the badminton poles and nets were up. We started playing badminton the day after, on May 7th, a wednesday.) Anyway, on May 8th during the last few minutes of class, I noticed some of the soccer guys playing on the court next to where I was playing with 8 people per side and I was doing next to nothing. Towards the end of class I asked to join them, and I have been playing badminton with them ever since.

I can't quite place it/remember, but starting last Thursday/Friday/this Monday, I started really liking 'the snape guy'. A while earlier he had gotton a haircut so his hair was now a few inches shorter than shoulderlength, but still long, black, and strait. Anyway, on Friday, May 9th I played badminton with the soccer guys, but he had gone to join three other people on the court across from us. I felt kind of- its almost like jealous or slightly disappointed he wasn't playing with us. I also noticed and admired how well he could hit and slam the birdie in badminton. On Monday, Math 10th, I played on the court he was on on Friday, but he had gone to play soccer somewhere else. We played 2 v. 2, and I wasn't as good as the other guys. After missing lots, I left because I felt the good natured person on with me was starting to get upset (due to the taunting of someone on the other team whenever we lost the point, mostly because I missed.) I went to the court diagnal at the other end of the gym from us. 'The snape guy' was playing soccer with some other people (including the Emily girl I described) by heading the ball over a volleyball net. It like juggling in soccer, only you also need to send it over the net. Anyway, 'the snape guy'(a very athletic person) would get down really low to head the low ones, often backwards. And whenever he did, as the ball bounced off the top of his head, his hair would kind of fly out to the side. The lowness slightly reminded me of a turtle, but not really. It was really really cute.

On Tuesday May 13th, he returned to the badminton court where he and his four friends had been playing on on the previous Friday. A few more people joined and it was lots of fun. I got to hit some, and we laughed. I looked at him through the net, because he was on the other team. Then he came over here and started dominating. I didn't get to hit as many because it was a volley between him and the other team, but I didn't mind. So cute!!! However the other guy on the team, a skinny person whose name sounded like "Joshav", the person I said I had previously been causing to lose, was kind of ticked because he wanted to play more.

On Wednesday, I and someone else went to get everyone rackets and 'he stayed on the court. We assumed he would save it; however when we returned we found some IB girls had ran over and prepared to play. This creates a funny(strange) feeling in my stomach(has to do with love) because he was kind of still standing on the court, and it was common courtesy to not take someone else's court, and those girls were my classmates. Perhaps they thought of this boy as introverted? Quiet? He didn't protest. Yet I've seen him leading his friends during lunch, walking as if he owned the world :P So anyway, we had to go to this other crowded court. A few hispanic(I think) girls and guys were playing there. He(I had now stopped thinking of him as 'the snape guy') was on the same team as me and three other girls. Ocacionally a guy named Caeser or this other guy would rotate in and play. It was basically him on back center, me front center, and Caeser left front, a girl right front, and two girls on either side of him in the back. The girls were okay, but I felt I was much better. Of couse, he was 10 times better than (Caeser, the next best person) on our team. Anyway, we played and it was mostly a rally between him and the other team. The two girls on either side of him in the back hit some, and he yielded some in that really courteous way, and they started flirting with him :) (The heaviest flirter actually already had a boyfriend; they kissed after class.) However, the flirting caused me to feel the temptation to make a move to show I really liked him, and on our way out of the gym I asked him his name, and then his grade. "Tu", he replied, holding his hand sideways with index and middle finger strait like a pair of sicsors. "I'm a Junior". "Tu? I asked him". "Yeah, like two"*emphasises with a motion of his siscor hand*- he smiled that nice, light, crisp, yet slightly passionate simle(we'll called it the Tu smile). "What's your name?" "_____, I'm in 9th grade, I blurted". Of course he couldn't distinguish the mashed syllables, and asked again, "What's your name?", and I said "_____", with a grin. He repeated it and smiled back. I said bye, put away my racket, and ran off.

Carraka's birthday was coming up soon and I thought I remembered Angela saying that we should make stuff and bring it in today, the last day before HSAs. I also realized(Carraka- I hope you don't/didn't mind; you b-day was THE factor, but not the only factor) I should give the video production/rmbc teachers a couple to compensate for turning in that commercial with red crazy so late(I'm slightly ticked with the editors-in-chief for expecting so much yet assigning so late; it was nearly humanly impossible). I also wanted to give some to Tu. So I went to the grocery store to buy margarine and cookie mix(! that's how I made the cookies last time) But the price of food had risen, and the price of cookie mix had doubled. I didn't bring enough money, so I bought only margirne and baked homemade cookies. The recipie from online was great, and I was pleasantly surprised and very satisfied with the result. They were even better warm.

The next morning, I turned in the commercial.(The production people were ticked "Nothing like procrastination eh?(it was the editors in chief and their inconsideracy!(if that's a word))", but they turned nice when I gave them the cookies.) Then I went to the cafeteria and gave Tu his cookies. "I baked cookies for my friend's early birthday and made some extra for you. Here". This was in front of his friends, but they didn't start teasing or laughing or anything (good sign). He said "thanks" and I left. Later when he was playing badminton with a wad of paper with someone because they hadn't handed out the birdies yet, I asked if I could join and he smile that Tu-smile extra Tu-ishly and said "Sure, and thanks for the cookies. They were really good". I nodded and smiled, confused and half between 'Thank you' and 'Your welcome'. !! Major sign of a crush- fumbling and blurting words. Anyway, we later played badminton and I messed up some. But I looked at Tu some. After class I blurted *ahem* talked to him again: "I saw you doing math homework in the cafeteria yesterday. What math class are you in?" Algebra II *slightly and appropriatly embarrased smile+sound* I smiled back *I hope*, not really minding. *Disapproving look from Angela* Me-"Where do you eat lunch?" "In the cafeteria. Then I go to the gym to play badminton" Still nice conversation in which I feel like I am floating on a cloud expect that I am blurting stuff. I not.

Later I eat lunch (in the hall halfway between the cafeteria and the library) and give Carraka her cookies. I then go to the gym to play badminton with some old friends. I secretly watch for Tu. I think he came after I left, with 10 minutes before lunch ends. I bought some water from the cafeteria(the badminton gym and the cafeteria are at opposite ends of a HUGE hallway, and my five pound shoes threatened to fall if if I tried to run) so it took some time. I then went to the main office on request of my dad to inquire about something. It is near the gym. I saw Tu and his friends on the way there. I smiled that Tu smile and said hi. I smiled back. Ahh...

And that's the last time I've seen him today. I'm obviously in love, more than I've ever been.

List of intensity of all crushes, greatest to least: Tu,-> Past crushes: Seto Kaiba the anime character, Uchiha Itachi the anime character, Michael Zhang, Kevin Hu

I've been thinking about Tu a lot within the past week. This intense crush is like a sudden onset. I want his email address, his phone number; I want to spend lots and lots of time with him; walk around with him; hold his hand; eat lunch with him and his friends. I'm desperately in love. Sorry, it's the hormones. I think Tu is one of the most wonderful people in the world.
A friend suggested that this could possible not work out. She is right, of course. The following are mostly for my benefit, so I can work it out in my head. Of course, its highly likely that we won't 'be going out', or that It'll be a 2 month thing, or a part-for-the-summer and forget kind of thing. But here are the obstacles I can think of:

He is not as academically oriented as me.
He is a Junior; I am a Freshman.
We have hardly talked.
He might not like me.
Will this negatively impact my studies?
What happens when he graduates high school?

Solutions/consolations:

So? People are different, he is nice and it would quite possible work out.
So? 2 year difference. It is recommended that females are about 3 years older since they lived longer, but this serves as an example that an age difference doesn't matter.
We've talked. We may have not 'sat down', but you can tell a TON about a person by the manner of which they play sports.
True. I need to find out if he does.
It probably won't. This is just like my Twilight obsession, or my medical blog obsession... only with a boy so it gets more negative attention.
Email, phone... Have fun in high school and find each other maybe one day?

So yeah. This is it so far. I'm not marrying him; I'm discussing how I like him. Comment, anyone?

How I spent my afternoon

2008-05-14T23:04:00.004-04:00

After the 2:10 bell rang, I stayed afterschool to shoot film for our school's newspaper commercial, which will air on RMBC, or school's broadcasting channel, a slot on a local channel. I'm working with two other people this time, but one couldn't make it. Anyway, the girl I worked with is really creative and has awesome ideas. No more boring-ness! I wouldn't want to spoil the contents for Angela and Carraka, but it has Red Crazy(nickname for a person) as well as people chasing red crazy into the media center.

Richter- I'll see if the people in it agree for me to post it online if you want to see it; however don't have high expectations. And I'm not being like Dr. Schwab (you read his blog right?) for SurgeXperiances and then actually post a gazillion verses of entertaining limericks.

Oh no! I got distracted and forgot the point of this post. Actually, after the filming I got home at 4:30(amazingly well trip on public trans system) and discovered that I couldn't find my keys. I dumped out the entire contents of my backpack on our front mat and still couldn't find them. So I sat next to our welcome mat and read Frankenstein for english class. Then I went 1/4 of a mile to the grocery store and bought a doughnut, because I hadn't eaten since 11 and it was 6 already and dad was coming from baltimore today. It was a gigantic doughnut with apple filling and caramel frosting. I felt sick afterwards, and lucky I bought some water during lunch or else I would have been really miserable.

Dad got home at 7 and wasn't pleased. His paranoia has caused him to decide to change the locks. :( guilt.

Okay and last thing I'm going to bed early today! We are having a mock trial during government class and I'm a cross examiner and givng the concluding statement.

Oww...

2008-05-14T00:41:00.003-04:00

The pertoid, bicep, pactoralis, and flexor in my right arm and shoulder are so sore... put binder away- ow; zip bulging backpack- owww; lift backpack with right arm to see how heavy it is(oh the 12:46 am stupidity) ooowwww.
Its all because of those cheap but durable bad-minton rackets from gym. They're completely plastic and very heavy. Hit hard with it to get little force. I ended up making these large, dramatic swings(which were quite effective), but now it hurts to even type. Why?!

On another note, my dad got home very, very late tonight. I was completely 'freaked out' and really 'panicky'. I went to the neighbor's place to borrow her phone twice because we didn't have a home phone, and my cell phone wasn't working. It turns out dad had left his cell phone on his bed, so he didn't get the calls. Home late at night, 3 hours later than expected. I was sooooooo worried I couldn't even do hw.
Why all this trouble? A certain carpooling person wanted to get some dessert.
(and two bosses' wives weren't home to cook dinner).

:)

2008-05-10T11:18:00.004-04:00

Sorry for the lack of posts; I've been pretty busy. Anyway, my AP test was on Monday, and I think it went fairly well. I guess weekend cram session in which I did 3/5 of my studying was effective. The results don't come out until July though, so I won't be sharing what I got until then. I really really hope I got a 5. My thoughts during the test:

(Waiting in line) Ooohhh this is so inefficient! WHY did we have to come down at 7:30, if we wre just going to stand in an unmoving line until eight?! (I also happened to be studying at that time, but I would have gladly traded it for studying in a nice, quiet place, while sitting down.)
(Waiting for test proctors to do random things) Why is this taking so long!? Perhaps you should have had someone separate the left-handed people(who needed special desks as we were testing in the audotorium) while we were waiting in line?
(Waiting for the bossy/mean lady in purple shirt to read the directions) Perhaps you could go a tiny bit faster? In fact, we might not even be idiots, as demonstrated by the fact that we are taking this AP exam?
(1/3 hour later, carassing the shiny plastic wrapped test booklet, during the directions) Oooohhhh this is sooooo shiny! And the texture! I just HAVE to RIP IT OPEN!!!! But I can't!!! The purple lady hasn't finished the directions yet!
(At signal to open the test booklet seal) Yessss!!!! *rrriiiiipppp* *riiipppppppp*!!!!
("P l l e e a a s s e e r e e a a d t h h e e d i i r e e c c t i o n s... ") More directions!?!! Can we start already? Please? And why is the college board insignia symbol an acorn?
(At signal to begin the test) Finally!!! I am so nervous!!! Okay! Start!
(First 10 questions) What is this! This is so hard! If the first questions are supposed to be easy...!!??
(20-30) I have to go faster. This is terrible, I can't see the clock! But at least the questions are getting easier. (My last name is y, therefore I sit near the back of the huge audotorium, making it difficult to see the clock.)
(31-50) Wow, I'm doing pretty well! These are easy! I'm definatly enjoying this! Almost done lalala!
(End of MulCh) End of Multiple Choice. Phew, I made it.
(Begin BCRs"You have 1 hour and 40 minutes to write these 4 bcrs.") The bcrs for a magnet IB student like my classmates, and me, would probably take 40 minutes at a fast pace. I went slowly and finished after 1 hour, at 15 minutes apiece. The problem was that the bcrs are sometimes hard, and sometimes you just can't remember what this term is. Or you(often) can remember a little bit, but not a lot. This is where your time is eaten, where you have to THINK really hard. Yeah. For me, there was this thing that wasn't emphasized in my Kaplan review book, about monetary and fiscal policy. But then after much though I gave a meager, but correct, answer. I'll just have to wait and see what happens. There were also parts of a question where you needed 2, for example supreme court case, examples but I could only think of 1.
Despite this, I finished 1 HOUR early and had to sit there, absolutely silent, for 60 whole minutes. 60 minutes, silent, in that chair, doing nothing. The kid next to me started snoring :P What made it funny was that he had a reputation of being really smart, and he was cute and chubby in an elder-brother way. We laughed quietly before we woke him up.
At the end of the test I chatted with my friends, went home, and then went to the library to volunteer. I was verbally told that we were not allowed to discuss the contents of the test, ever, and I saw in writing that we were not allowed to disclose information regarding the bcr portion until (48) hours after the test. Although, no one would hunt me down(obviously) unless I had an amazing memory and started typing the 2008 AP Government exam questions online, nearly word for word. And they also release the test after a few months, so I'll be safe then :)

The end.

Oh, and one more thing- As you might see from the little button on the sidebar, there is a "stat counter" where I can see how many people visit my blog. It says 3-4 people, returning visitors, come every day. Is that true? If so, do you think you can post to let me know? Thx! But you don't have to if you don't want to.

Testing

2008-05-05T20:32:00.002-04:00

got error message. testing....

AP studying done

2008-05-04T23:26:00.002-04:00

Okay, it's now 11:25. Correction- 11:26.
I've officially finished studying for AP gov. After this post I will turn off my laptop, brush my teeth, and go to bed. I will also set my alarm clock so I will wake up a little earlier tomorrow, for the big test.

Goodnight!

Richter

2008-05-04T23:16:00.003-04:00

Hello Richter. I am hereby dedicating this post to you.

Ode to Richter- In Form of Haiku In Delayed Celebration of Poetry Month

Insane, narcissistic;
Obsessed with Pandas and such;
Deemed as a "Sick Soul".

:PPPPPPPP

Okay, lame, I know. But I had trouble filling the 5-7-5 syllable guide.

Or how about this:

Richter

Writes, swears, and comments;
Is my companion on the
MD blogosphere.

Yeah, I went swimming and during 15 laps I though about how I appreciated Richter.

Plans, scheduling, my watch

2008-05-04T17:58:00.003-04:00

Our school's varsity soccer coach, discussing the disappointing loss of a game that could have been won, once said: "their forwards... their defendse... and their goalie had as much sense as my watch". I was on the junior varsity team, and that got me thinking... how much sense does a watch have? Seriously.
This post might sound lame, but I began thinking about the complex nature of time...
What is it exactly? Can our watches and clocks really guage it? And how does a watch work, anyway?

But this brings me to the actual, less-deep point of this post. I finally, after studying all day(I got up late and also went swimming), finished studying for tomorrow's AP government test. My chinese exchange student cousin is also taking it. My goal is to achieve the full score of a 5, signifying full prepared-ness through the course. I think I can do it. Tonight I will have to study for a math quiz and go through a few AP government things, one last time.

Ahhhh... how blissful to finally be close to finishing

Tired...

2008-05-01T21:22:00.002-04:00

I am so tired. I'm definatly ready to go on summer vacation right now. How will I survive in the adult world if I look forward to 10 weeks of summer vacation so much?

(Written on 5/2/08)

What an afternoon- shopping + lesson on public transportation

2008-04-24T21:23:00.008-04:00

I went shopping directly afterschool yesterday. If you read this ranting post, you might know that I got $100 from my grandmother to buy clothes. So at 2:10, as soon as that ringing tone sounded, I headed to the nearby bus stop. It was a 10 minute walk/run, complete with two busy intersections. The turning cars didn't seem to understand the concept of yielding to pedestrians. Arriving at the county's second busiest transportation center, I got on a bus and rode to the county's third busiest transportation center. This county is a minority majority, and many affirmative action target groups use the transportation system.

The people I was around today were loud, rude, obnoxious, disrespectful of public places and resources, and... and.... ugh! Examples: Teens walk around with their pants so low their underwear shows, casually using and shouting swear words. Middle aged women glare at you for no reason; politely say hello and they glare harder. Middle aged men drop their cigarette buts on the ground. They also casually walk and spit onto the sidewalk. Ewww... Young men bother young women, I'd call it sexual harrassment...

Get the picture? And we're supposed to be one of the richest counties...

Anyway, so I get on a bus to the mall- remember the above described enviornment. It is very crowded. People glare at me for no reason whatsoever. A young man starts 'talking' with the young female bus driver. The bus jolts around as I, and many other people, stand. There are some 'crazy' people on board. People brush against me. I do not like that, at all. Some of them have body odor. Yelling, insulting, sexual references... yeah. This situation is so uncomfortable that it is indescribable I vow to never, ever, do this again(or at least until the next time there is a huge sale). 40 minutes of chaos (I had no idea it would be this long) later, I stumbled off the bus.

I am greeted with greeeeennnn grass. Oooohhhhhhh how I love that color! Well trimmed green grass. And look! There's the mall. And there are many decent looking cars in the lot. Civilization.

I walk about 1/4 of a mile across the giant parking lot. To da store! As I said, I checked online and saw that there was a huge sale, through saturday. Since that meant everyone would go there and buy everything at 9 on Saturday, and my dad prefers to leave at around 11, I decided I needed to take matters into my own hands.

I am not a spoiled rich kid. I am also not a financially challanged kid who goes places just for sales. The reason I went to this store is because there is a sale on my favorite pants ever, which I had been planning to buy regular price this weekend. Onward.

The section in the store is really messy. Too much stuff, not enough racks. I kneel down and start looking. Finally I find two pairs of those pants, a couple nike shirts, and a pair of shorts, all of which I had already planned on purchasing. It is heavy; thank goodness I decided to leave my textbook and binder at home!

To the changing room. Seeing myself in my faded pink shorts with my worn purple backpack, I was shocked. I fit right in with all those people on that bus! Oh the terror. Luckily I'm buying new clothes!

So I try them on and everything except the two pairs of pants looks bad on me. So then I go back, find new stuff, try it on... etc. One hour later, I go to the checkout with an armload(I really didn't want to get one of those tote-y shopping carts) of clothes: two pairs of nike sweatpants; two nike shirts; and three pairs of various shorts. They were all on sale and normally would have cost $156 plus tax. Aren't I great at saving money?

The store wasn't that crowded(remember its a Thursday) so the line was short. A hispanic middle aged lady and her pre-teen daughter stood behind be. I smiled to myself as I recalled that as I was tryig stuff on, somebody in the next stall had been complaining to her mother about the clothes she was trying on: "No, I don't like this. No.... I bet you just picked the cheapest ones..."

I dumped my pile of stuff on the counter while the person in front was signing the signiature pad and getting her recipt. For some reason, I noticed the girl staring at me. Like staring. And staring at my pile of stuff. So I stared back. I also noticed her mother staring. However when I made eye contact she kindly smiled. Hmmm...

Anyway, the saleslady, whom I had seen before at this store as I have often visited it, began slowly lifty each of my purchases really high, scanning them, and then slowly folding them into a bag. I began feeling self concious. I don't want each of my purchases lifted high for all to see! Can't you just scan and deposit?! Ugh. And the girl and her mother were still staring. Is it bc they're 'boy clothes'? Is it because I look wierd? Is it bc I'm making large purchases?

No. I'm not being spoiled right? Lots of people buy abercrombie 'teen trash clothes' for like $70 a shirt! I haven't been shopping in ages...

Maybe I'm imagining it. But it seemed like the saleslady thought I was spoiled, and was intentionally trying to humiliate me in front of the people, especially the mother and her daughter, nearby. "That would be eighty six dollars and 36 cents"..."And heeerrree is your recipt" *hands me something nearly a foot long* But it was only 7 items! What is wrong with this store!? "And heeerrre is your ten dollars off coupon" "And heeerrrre is your bag". "Have a nice day, and thank you for shopping at___".

Sigh. What do you think?

Flaming

2008-04-22T00:02:00.002-04:00

Dictionary.com:
Flaming- verb
13. Computer Slang. to send an angry, critical, or disparaging electronic message.

Hmm.... today I felt a moderate urge to flame a certain blog...
But then again, other than impled meanings, no one on that blog has technically offended me. Yet I still feel quite offended.

To Flame, or not to Flame? Zat is ze question.
Well, I guess you could say its my fault. But the urge to flame has come from my understanding of their thinking.
Disregard this if you are not in immature web teen -
They define n00b as someone who is not knowladgable of a certain thing, which they know about and are discussing.
The actual definition of n00b- quite a touchy subject for many people- is someone who is being obnoxious, stupid, rude, or a combination of the three.

So if they would(they haven't directly said it... but still) incorrectly define me as a n00b, maybe I should show them what n00b actually means, through some flaming? eh?

Sigh, no, because
1. I was just joking with this whole post
2. I wouldn't want to insult a good friend of mine
3. I am not a n00b!

Photos

2008-04-21T23:53:00.004-04:00

I downloaded this really great free-to-everyone image editor and edited my photos. Putting them up now...

Oh and dad gave me 4.23 dollars for a new special pencil :)

Enjoy :P

Misc. Stuff

2008-04-14T23:18:00.003-04:00

The interview went nicely. I stumbled on words(!), forgot what the first half of the question was(32 words!), messed with my fingers...
However I did answer intellgently. And I was ultra-polite. There's probably a good change I will get selected.

I lost my special pencil on friday. The green one I posted about. But my dad said he'd buy me a new one(4 dollars is hard for me spare, 1/4 of the way to a new pair of nike shorts...)

I think I'll post some anime boston pictures later.

...Commission

2008-04-13T23:00:00.003-04:00

I have an interview for a commission tomorrow. Perhaps I will be allowed to be part of the county's bureocratic system. Wish me luck!
:P

English Satire Project: The Airport

2008-04-07T19:52:00.000-04:00

Okay here is the text version of my satire project. I made it into a pamphlet with pictures, a nice layout, etc, but my adobe wasn't working, so here is the text.
I know, its... its... well its...
But that's what results from satirizing something from nothing. And doing it in 3 days.

XX Airport

Your Guide to a Pleasant Experience

Our Mission
The modern airport is a very efficient, qualified, and accomplished place. In fact, it can be inferred that out of the tens of thousands of flights departing from the typical- defiantly not mediocre nor inefficient- aeronautic facility, only multiple thousands are delayed, canceled, or something far worse. But of course, that would never happen at such wonderful aeronautic facilities, so there is no point in discussing it.
We, as incredibly dedicated, patient, and compassionate airline and airport staff, who only rudely mistreat people approximately 127 times per day, have taken the liberty of putting together this guide for our most defiantly not intellectually challenged monk- um patrons :)
We hope that this will make our airport even more stupendous.

Airport Arrival
Strict compliance with our very loose transportation policies is crucial for success. We recommend that all patrons arrive in one of these three methods:
· Have someone drop you off precisely 7200 seconds before the departure time of your flight. Arriving anytime before or after would result in an extended, unnecessary stay, thereby causing airport congestion. You wouldn’t want there to be inadequate space for loitering eh?
· Drive your car to our modernized parking garage. It has a finite number of 11 levels, and parking is only dollars per hour, where e is the floor you are parked on, and x is the number of hours your car was parked. Note: Parking is not permitted on the first floor.
· Take the recently built easy-access metro Silver Line. Instead of taking the old shuttle bus, you will only have to metro transfer a maximum of 5 times in order to arrive! The trains are even equipped with modern brakes, which only emit about 90 decibels of sound! And, if you miss your stop, you can relax on the wonderful plastic seats for the 45 minutes it takes to get back to your stop again.

Checking In
Now that you have arrived via one of the stress-free above methods, you are ready to check in. It is in your best interest to proceed to one of our electronic ticket kiosks- not counter service, where a hardworking staff member would have to assist you- and follow the steps below.
1. Enter your preposterously complex and ultra secure 16 figure confirmation code, which you of course memorized in order to minimize the chance of having yourself impersonated.
2. Truthfully answer the very important security questions. Are there timed explosives concealed in your baggage that have been programmed to detonate and vaporize the aircraft upon departure? Please select Yes or No.
3. Meticulously choose the seat you would like to travel in. Unfortunately sitting in the same seat as or on top of other customers is not permitted.
4. Select the number of suitcases you would like the overworked airport trolley personal to valet for you.
Then press the BIG green print button.

Passing Security and Boarding the Your Plane
The number of violations any given TSA agent commits on any given day is inversely proportional to the number of hours remaining in their shift. Given this dire situation, here are a few survival tips:
· Do not ever say the T-word(T*rrorist), G-word(g*n, gr*enade... use your imagination), H-word(H*ijack), or even F-word(F*ck). But don’t worry, if you accidently slip you will only be locked in room and vigorously interrogated for a maximum of 48 hours. Maybe.
· Be sure to remove all foreign metal objects when requested to. Even if it’s excruciatingly painful. This includes orthopedic pins.
· If your personal belongings are selected for inspection, be sure to act as cooperatively as possible. Do not EVER touch the stainless steel inspection table. Don’t even accidently brush your hand against the side. Doing so would result in disaster.
After you have survived security, you may then proceed in an orderly fashion to the gate. However, should you find that it is almost 1800 seconds until your departure time, which could only have resulted from incorrectly executing one of the above steps, you must quickly sprint as fast as you possibly could towards the boarding area, disregarding -and possibly mowing down- anything and everything in your path. Hopefully you will arrive before the 30 minute mark. Otherwise, under no circumstances, will you be permitted on board.

Thank You For Your Well Spent Time! (This was on the back cover)

New Vid

2008-04-05T22:05:00.000-04:00

Well here it is. My Anime Boston 2008 Convention submission that didn't make it to the finals. My conclusion- the song I picked was rotten- it didn't really fit into the action category and I tried to force it; this year's competition was a lot better than last years'; I need better software; I need more experience; I need to spend more than 70 hours spread over a month. Yeah.

But here it is; please watch, enjoy, and comment.
By the way, I still think its exceptionally good; as in stellar; even though its not as good as the ones made with PROPER videoediting software that you might see on youtube in in competitions. I NEED BETTER SOFTWARE!!!
But I think its still really really good. Please watch; And comment!

Oh, and its about this elite evil group that seeks world domination. Remember- 72 hour job...

(Okay it really contrasts with my background so click the top pic on the sidebar under "vids I edited" to watch it)

Oh and about the new background...
The aurora borealis(yes, that's what it was... not some pink girly thing) wasn't working bc the screen chopped off half of it making it unidentificable. So its like a patch of pink next to a patch of black, with the text impossible to read on the darker portions.
So earlier this evening I downloaded this wonderful starry background instead, hosted it on photobucket, and set it as my background :)

Oh, and one more thing- I'm so easily distracted- the library is a very bureaucratic place. Maybe I'll write about it later.

Also, I think my career as a library volunteer/tech wiz is suffering due to a lack of some type of an i-pod. Seriously. I don't even know how to use one!*sobs shamefully* Today I was asked if I could get some children's program tracks onto it, to sort stuff... etc. for a library program, and I had to admit that I couldn't. Oh ^&#%!!!
"Oh, well some people are still very good with technology, and even though they haven't used one they can easily figure it out"- such a nice librarian, but I figure she'll probably just get some other teenager to do it for her.

Long Time No Blog...

2008-04-05T10:39:00.000-04:00

Hey. Sorry for the lack of posts. I actually wrote every day during spring break, but some of it is so insanely boring that... Maybe I'll get around to editing them sometime.

On a different note, out of an act of sheer evilness(actually no she is a very nice person+teacher), my english teacher assigned that satire project I wrote about the day before spring break. For me, the result is stressing over it everyday, attempting to do it, yet not being able to force myself to. So it nagged at me throughout the whole spring break. Sigh. I finally pulled through and did it on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday.

It is a brochure that satirizes inefficient and bleh airports. I think its pretty good. You might think its funny. You might laugh. I'll try to get it up...

I Almost Got Hit By a Car Today

2008-03-21T16:55:00.000-04:00

Friday, March 21, 2008

Well actually it was a SUV. I went to the library to check out some books, and on the way back to the bus stop I crossed at a semi-busy intersection, at the top of a large hill. Carrying some books, I had decided to sprint up the hill, so I was slightly out of breath and not paying 'strict' attention to my surroundings. Which is why I thought, right before I crossed, that that turning car was slowing to a stop, yielding to me. But it wasn't, and for a second right after I realized that, I was very scared, because it started picking up speed, while I was in the middle of the crosswalk. In a reactionary(is that a real word?) action I half tried to run, but it wouldn't have been effective becasue the car was going pretty fast. But then suddenly, and very luckily, the SUV abruptly stopped a meter from me.

I looked at the person who was driving, and just as I looked he was turning his head from the side towards me, cover a 90 degree arc. A skinny middle aged caucasian with short dark brown hair and wire rim glasses. At first I was kind of angry because he had turned his head(indicating he wasn't initialy looking at me), and because he didn't even look sorry that he wasn't paying attention(the sudden acceleration) and almost hit me while I was using the crosswalk and following the pedestrian signals.

Then I figured that the look on his face was relief. I should have been paying more attention too. He had probably looked around right after he stopped(natural reaction perhaps to see if anyone saw the mishap?) And he was probably pretty scared right before he braked. I mean, what would happen to him if he hit a kid in the crosswalk following pedestrian signals in front of lots of people? Now I'm starting to feel bad. But luckily nothing happened! And I will cross more carefully :)

On a different note, today is Day 2 of my spring break. I made up for the 3.75 (3:45) hr sleep a night ago by sleeping for about 10 hours :D I got up at 9:45 and had some yogurt. I showered and surfed the net. I lazily did some homework, while reading people's medical blogs. I ate BBQ pork with sticky rice for lunch. I organized some stuff for packing. I recycled some plastics and took out the trash. I went to the library to pick up a set of cds for my dad, return a book, and check out another book. Get home, have dinner, go jogging (I only had 15 mins(lacing shoes, getting keys, and leaving the house included in that time) :( so it was .66 mile (which = nothing) Then we went swimming. And we got home at 9. And I called my grandmother. And then I started packing. And then I emailed my friends. And now I'm typing this at 12:08 AM. Tomorrows a big day, I'm going to Mass. and an anime convention! I have to get up at 6:00! I have to finish packing and go to bed now. Goodnight!

Satire English Paper

2008-03-20T22:57:00.001-04:00

After turning in that stay-till-two paper, we've been assigned a new one. Charles Dickens uses a lot of satire in his book, since the purpose was to make fun of the government, for political expression. So anyway, we have to create our own satire. The assignment is really broad, so basically we can do whatever we want. (Of course it must be of the topmost quality...etc.)

What should I write about!!?

Spring Break

2008-03-20T22:27:00.002-04:00

Spring Break has officially started. In the past I've documented what I did during vacations by scribbling in a notebook. Now that I have this blog, I shall be making blog posts instead. Much more convinient and thourough. They are to satisfy this wierd urge inside me, so don't read if they're boring like: get up; have breakfast; etc.
Heck I might not even publish them! Yes, that is a good idea :)
But anyway, for today:

3/20/07

Get up and go to school after only 3 hours and 45 minutes of sleep. Surprisingly I didn't miss the bus nor fall asleep during any of my classes. But I was very tired and needed to be prompted multiple times before responding to simple questions.
A lot of people, including teachers, were absent today, resulting in a laid back atmosphere. We had a 'building evacuation drill' during spanish class, and an unplanned party during math. (Basically half the class brought food and we ate it while doing today's math problems. But the class is mostly sophmores, who secretly planned it and brought the food. I felt really bad because I didn't know we were having a party, so I didn't bring anything. Sigh.) Our math teacher is very leniant and let us dominate and half push aside the lesson.(But since we were all smart magnet people, we didn't need to go through a million examples anyway jk jk >_<).
Afterschool I got home, dropped my stuff in a neat pile and arranged it so I could easily begin homework if I chose to, took a shower, and then relaxed by surfing the net. I read archived posts from brilliant people's medical blogs. For about 2 hours, until my dad got home. We had dinner, went swimming, got home, looked for various things like index cards, and now I'm typing this. I need to go to bed soon, so goodnight!

Going to Massachusetts

2008-03-20T22:19:00.000-04:00

I'm going to Massachusetts in two days!!! I live with my father in Maryland, but I'm going to Massachusetts for a week starting Saturday to stay with my mom and my little brother. We're going to Anime Boston(an annual anime convention at the Hynes). I'm cosplaying as Uchiha Itachi, the guy on my avatar.
Oh I miss my mom and my brother so much!

Nearly 2:30 AM

2008-03-20T02:17:00.001-04:00

Update: I just want you to know, this consequence isn't because of procrastination. This is the latest I've gone to bed EVER, and it's only because for this one time, I had a lot of trouble with my thesis and organization of the essay.

Update: I fell asleep just after 2:30 this morning :P
Right now its 12:47 PM and I can't believe I'm still awake right now. Just a couple more classes until spring break! I'm going to Massachusetts la la la...
Although, I was thinking- I got up at 6:15 yesterday morning. I went to bed at 2:30 am. That means I was up for 20 hours and 15 minutes. If I go to bed at 11 PM(my usual goal) tonight, then at 2:30 tomorrow morning I would have gotten only 7 hours of sleep in the past 48 hours. I've grown 2 inches in the past year, but this 7/48 trend continues... Okay I'm going to sleep until 10 am tomorrow. That ought to make up for some of this week...

Worked on essay 7.5 hours strait. Must go to bed now. Can sleep for only 4 hours

Complaints

2008-03-18T21:24:00.000-04:00

Update: Okay, I'm resolving to stop/minimize my complaining. You see, there are many many people in this world, and many of them deal with exponentially more amounts of stress and pressure. So anyway, next time I feel like crashing, I will think about that :)
Although as a side note, I ended up working til 12:26 AM on that essay last night. Its due tomorrow, and I still need to fix/do more than half of it because some of the stuff I used was wrong. Oh well. I shall go work now :)
Oh and this means I need to change the title of this blog.

Waaaahhhhh. Ahhhhhhhh. I ... this day... so stressful. I've been sitting here for an hour, trying to sort through the structure of the theme and topic sentences. And I still haven't gotten it strait. The more I look the more confused I get... Its 9:26 PM now. Waaahhhh. I have so much work to do. After I sort the stuff I will actually have to write it. I feel unwell.

My New Pencil

2008-03-18T18:43:00.000-04:00

Well actually its not new. I got it at cvs last week. But it is quite nice; four dollars isn't cheap for a pencil. Yes, I am quite fond of this. Definatly a worthy investment.nt.

Terrible Headache

2008-03-17T18:01:00.000-04:00

I have a terrible headache. Not the kind that indicates you might have a health problem; the kind where you want to shred your copy of a tale of two cities, throw yourself on your bed, and never go to english class again. Nor math or spanish, for that matter. *checks clock in bottom right hand corner of computer screen*
Sigh...must get back to work on my english essay now.

Also, I had an absolutely awful school day. The worst I've had, ever. Seriously. I posted a long post about it, but I took it down because I could be identified by it. If you want to read it, email me at jessica.plmqaz125@gmail.com
:)

School Newspaper Commercial

2008-03-16T13:34:00.001-04:00

I can't believe I slept until 9:55 this morning! I mean, by the time I had breakfast and settled down, it was 11!
Despite these setbacks, I was able to edit the film and put together a commercial for out school's newspaper. It took about 3 hours to edit, coordinate with the song, and burn two copies(a cd and a dvd, just in case). Tomorrow I need to bring it to the video production studio so they can put it on our school's televised network tuesday morning.
I suspect there are high expectations for this video. Last year a senior was in charge of making monthly advertisements, and everyone loved them. This year, I suspect that I'm in charge, but I'm not sure...
The senior was really good, so everyone will be so disappointed if this isn't really good...

Update: The commercial never played because of scheduling issues... then we tried again a month later and it still didn't play, again because of bad timing... and I persisted(this was a lot of work!) and we had it play! 1 minute on RMBC for 1 day, reflecting hours of work...

Collaboration of International Baccaloriate Scholars

2008-03-14T19:37:00.001-04:00

I am an International Baccaloriate Scholar. Not really. Well I guess so. I'm a Magnet International Baccaloriate Scholar. But basically I applied for a magnet program with IB hosted in a school in our county, and now I ride the bus two hours a day to go somewhere and learn with 99 other highly talented, special, and egoistic people (just joking...)
And now, 6 of those people who all sit together during lunch, including me, and another good friend of ours, who isn't an International Baccaloriate Scholar, have decided to start a blog. Maybe. Connecting back to the title of this post, my initial thought for the blog title would be [insert tite of this post], but we would then be exculding our non-Magnet International Baccaloriate Scholar friend, so no. And by the way, I will from now on refer to Magnet International Baccaloriate Scholars as IB people. Don't forget the Magnet part.

Yes, we are very proud people(to quote a raisin in the sun).

As a sidenote, our school, because of the Magnet IB people, has ranked between numbers 9-25 in newsweek magazine's top high schools.

Fixed and Final(hopefully) Blog

2008-03-13T17:26:00.000-04:00

Based on the dates of my previous posts, you can tell this is a new blog. I am DONE with HTML. I will not go around editing it randomly anymore. I will also try to refrain from talking about it. Yes, I will only occasionally try it.
Anyway I'll post something interesting later.
Comment if you stopped by!

I Hate HTML

2008-03-13T17:12:00.003-04:00

Oh why!?! I swear this website hates me. I still can't access the html, and the same undocumented error message appears. I wonder if its because I deleted something crucial by accident? Anyway I posted on the html/template help blog and if it doesn't get replied to by the time I get home I'll delete the blog and start over again. The longer I wait the harder it will get because of all the posts...I've complained about computer language so much... Okay well I like C++. And I'll post something interesting that happened during biology today, once I get home.Sigh I have to stay afterschool to take some more shots for the newspaper commercial. I'll put it on youtube when its done...

Post From My Previous Blog- Stalemate, More Errors

2008-03-13T17:12:00.001-04:00

I've decided not to drastically modify the html. A lot of problems arose, and I had to delete my old blog (which is why all the posts say march 12th) to fix it. Now I can't view the html, and when I try it gives me an error message. Oh well, I've submitted a question to the help blog. Worst comes to worst I'll have to delete the blog again. Sigh. Anyway I have to go do hw. Comment if you stopped by!

Post From My Previous Blog- Site Under Construction

2008-03-13T17:11:00.000-04:00

Okay well I got tired of default templates, especially since this site only provides a few- sooo I got some pics and tried to modify the html and get a personalized one made by me. Unfortuneatly I should have known it would take more than 15 minutes, and with the links hardly showing up(heck you might not even be able to read this, that is if you're reading it at all...) I need at least another hour. I need to study for a ton of assessments for tomorrow, so I'll fix it tomorrow afternoon. Please excuse the page's unpleasantness.

Update: I figured out what was wrong with the background. Source error. Now I need to find a different one. But I liked that one :(

Update: 12:04 AM- must go to bed. Couldn't find good enough one. Will try again later.

Post From My Previous Blog- New Blog

2008-03-13T17:10:00.001-04:00

I have/had a blog at freewebs.com, and even though it looks cool its too inconvinient to use so I'm now going to transfer the posts to here, and now use this blog. (Until I decide I don't like this that much and switch back.) List of pros and cons I've discovered so far:Pros:I can easily link without manually doing html, which I hateThis is very simple and convinient to useLots of blogs that I like to read also use this website
Cons:I can't create pro/con chart :PThere aren't many fonts to choose fromIts not quite as cool as the lightning background I have on freewebs